Miss Cannon Fodder Wants To Escape Death Flags - Chapter 293
Chapter 293
Baicao Hall is full of nerds who only recognize herbs, not people, and wouldn’t have the thought of pitying a beauty, let alone knowing they’ve been deceived by these two shameless sword cultivators.
One of them stepped forward, saying, “It’s understandable that this fellow taoist here is injured, but since we found these seats at the same time, why don’t we each take one.You…?”
“Senior Sister Zheng, even though I’m miserable, you’re not doing so well either!”
He Zhizhou looked up at the sky in blanky, speaking in a pitiful tone: “So young, and yet you’ve completely lost your hearing because of that sonic boom in the snow!”
After pausing for a moment, he shook his head in grief: “But what’s the point of me telling you all this? Everyone says sweet words should be spoken to the left ear, but you’ll never hear them again—Wait, hold on, who was talking just now? Isn’t it just me and Senior Sister here?”
A blind person and a deaf person—it was impossible for them to communicate.
In essence, after all his talking, it was assumed these two didn’t hear a thing.
The Baicao Hall disciples: …
The Baicao Hall disciple: ‘Grass’ (not an insult, just literally referring to a plant).
(T/N: In internet slang, (grass) can be an euphemism for a curse word (f*ck).)
You win this round!
The flying boat moved swiftly, gliding through the air for only a short while before arriving at its destination, Luan City.
The Ten Methods Assembly was a grand event for Luan City, and according to tradition, the city’s residents would hold a fireworks festival at the end to welcome the returning sect members.
It should have been a joyous occasion, but as He Zhizhou walked to the door of the flying boat, preparing to descend the long ladder, he suddenly felt something was off.
The citizens, who had been all smiles, became motionless the moment they saw him, their expressions solemn as they fell silent.
He Zhizhou: …?
Utterly baffled, he looked around and spotted an enormous, gleaming mirror in the middle of the crowd.
The mirror was reflecting the scene inside one of the flying boats.
Inside. The. Flying. Boat.
At that moment, he seemed to understand everything.
He vaguely recalled someone mentioning that the people of Luan City held the sects in great reverence, and they would record the returning sect members’ images as the flying boats arrived.
A chilling silence filled the air.
Suddenly, a voice thick with tears cried out, “Don’t be afraid! You’re the greatest hero ever! Waaaah—! Quick, someone help him down!”
The two Baicao Hall disciples stood at the front of the crowd, their faces twisted into shapes of chrysanthemums, trying hard to hold back their laughter as they shook their heads at him.
You’ve done this to yourself; now live with the consequences.
He Zhizhou tilted his head, holding back tears that were like boiled eggs rolling in his eyes.
The arrow was on the string, and there was no turning back.
What could he do? Of course, he had to smile and forgive his former self.
The young sword cultivator swallowed the rising redness in his eyes and skillfully tilted his mouth into a grin.
He saw Tian Xianzi, who was carrying Ning Ning out of the medical ward, beside him.
Uncle Master was unaware of the battle for seats that had taken place on the flying boat and looked at him in horror, his gaze growing sharper.
But with so many eyes on him, He Zhizhou couldn’t explain.
Amid the silent horror of countless sect members and the expectant, fervent gazes of the Luan City residents—
He Zhizhou curled his O-shaped bowleg like it was deeply imprinted in his DNA, stretched out his arms as if to feel his way, and with trembling steps, began descending the long ladder.
His demeanor was so on point, and the slight redness at the corners of his eyes was so heartbreaking that a woman cried out in excitement:
“He.. Zhi.. Zhou—he—he’s moving on his own!”
With that exclamation, a crisp round of applause broke out unexpectedly, quickly growing louder and spreading.
Soon, it became a thunderous sea of clapping!
Step by step, He Zhizhou walked down in the style of Nicholas Zhao Si, and the crowd’s cheers steadily rose.
(T/N:Nicholas was originally the name of the international superstar Nicolas Cage. Later, in the TV series “Country Love”, Zhao Si (played by Liu Xiaoguang) performed a dance that was like a ghost dance. Netizens thought it was very funny and very much in line with the temperament of a superstar, so they called him Nicholas Zhao Si.)
The air was thick with an inspirational atmosphere that could bring tears to the eyes.
At that moment, he was the hero everyone looked up to.
Tian Xianzi was furiously pressing the spot between his nose, deciding that as soon as the Ten Methods Assembly was over, he would flee from Luan City as fast as possible—otherwise, he might be suffocated to death by anger.
Every shout from beneath the flying boat pierced his ears, while Zheng Weiqi, his co-conspirator, was pale-faced, shrinking like an ostrich.
“Oh my god, He Zhizhou is almost down—he did it!”
“He really made it! Is this what a sword cultivator of the Xuanxu Sword Sect can do?!”
“So moving! So moving! I’m about to cry! It’s not easy at all!”
He Zhizhou’s ideal was to make thousands of girls weep for him.
Sadly, he predicted the beginning but failed to foresee the end.
From the eighty-year-old grandmothers to the eight-month-old baby girls, all the women of Luan City were shedding tears in that moment, not for his charm, but because of his strong will despite his disability.
“With the current situation,” Zheng Weiqi glanced at the unconscious Ning Ning on the stretcher, her eye twitching, “If we follow behind him…won’t the people go even crazier when they see our Junior Sister?”
Her blunt words conjured up the scene in Lin Xun’s mind as soon as he heard them, making him feel the intense second-hand embarrassment.
His eyes, already red from worrying about Ning Ning, grew even more swollen.
But that wasn’t the worst part!
The little white dragon clenched his fists, the two tiny horns on his head symbolizing his unwavering determination.
His senior sister had been so good to him, and even if he had to endure all of Luan City’s scrutiny, he would safely escort her down!
Tian Xianzi trembled, tore his gaze from He Zhizhou’s retreating figure, and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t worry, I have a plan. Trust me, it’ll work.”
Not long after, several figures appeared at the door of the flying boat once again.
Anyone with keen eyes would immediately recognize them as Elder Tian Xianzi and his disciples.
Each sword cultivator exuded an impressive aura, with one notable feature—the stretcher they carried.
On the stretcher lay a sleeping girl.
She lay completely still, surrounded by companions with red-rimmed eyes and frozen expressions.
And on her face…
A white cloth was draped.
The sadness.
The deep, bone-chilling sadness silently seeped into the night.
Someone trembled and muttered, “That person with the white cloth over her face…who is she?”
Lin Xun was so startled by the question that his whole body shivered.
He snuck a glance at Tian Xianzi, who gave him a confident look.
“No worries, don’t panic,” said Tian Xian Zi, remaining composed as ever.
He spoke to his disciples through a sound transmission: “Ning Ning’s face is covered by the white cloth, so no one will recognize her. Don’t you trust your master?”
But before his words could settle, another voice suddenly rang out from the crowd:
“Are you an idiot? All the disciples of Elder Tian Xianzi are here except one—”
The speaker paused for a moment, their voice filled with pain and reluctance.
“Isn’t the one missing… Ning Ning?! Ning Ning is dead!”
The disciples carrying the stretcher all turned expressionless to stare at Tian Xianzi.
The crowd, collectively, was full of geniuses.
They, collectively, were idiots.
A moment of stunned silence.
Then came the deafening wails of thousands of people crying in unison!
The nearby crowd transformed into a horde of zombies that besieged a city, surrounding the group from the Xuanxu Sword Sect, their hands outstretched as they howled and surged forward in frenzy.
Some wept with faces twisted in anguish; others were so horrified that their features contorted.
A little girl sobbed, lifting her head to the sky with a heart-wrenching wail: “Big sister is dead! Big sister is dead! Waaah—!”
Perhaps it was the overwhelming noise or the waves of grief-filled cries, but a breeze gently swept through, lifting the white cloth draped over the young girl’s face.
For reasons unknown, Ning Ning—who was supposed to be dead—suddenly, without warning, opened her eyes in full view of the crowd.
Her eyes were lifeless and bloodshot.
No one spoke.
Everyone froze, their movements halting in unison, gazing at her unnaturally pale face and the dark red blood slowly seeping from the corner of her mouth.
It was like an old film being paused mid-scene.
Suddenly, someone screamed, “She’s turning into a zombie—run!”
A regular corpse transformation would have been deadly enough, but this was a zombie formed from a cultivator!
In an instant, one man’s cry led to another.
Women screamed, and soon, hundreds of people were shouting, thousands of children were crying, and dogs barked in terror.
Amidst the sobbing, there were sounds of vomiting, the rush of wind, and countless cries for help, the frantic stomping of feet, shouts of “Don’t kill me,” “Ning Ning, spare us,” and “Let the old and the children go first.”
Everything was happening at once.
Even if one had a hundred hands, they couldn’t point to where it began. If one had a hundred tongues, they couldn’t describe it all.
The chaotic scene, already full of wailing, descended into pure madness as people scrambled on all fours, weeping uncontrollably, drooling, and crying, turning what had been a zombie siege into a panicked retreat from the zombies themselves.
Without a doubt, this was the most unforgettable Ten Methods Assembly in the memory of Luan City’s people.
The city lord was dead, his wife had fled,and now even the little girl from the Sword Sect who is loved by everyone has turned into a zombie.
From the very start, they should never have poured so much emotion into it.
Curiosity killed all of Luan City.
And Ning Ning—
The girl, unaware of everything around her, lifted her right hand to gently scratch the spot on her face that had been covered by the white cloth.
Satisfied, she closed her eyes and drifted back into a sweet slumber.
