Miss Cannon Fodder Wants To Escape Death Flags - Chapter 353
Chapter 353
He Zhizhou chuckled, “Senior Sister Zheng, you weren’t tasked with ringing the bell, were you?”
After speaking, he let out a soft laugh and transmitted a message to Ning Ning: “Isn’t this just like that thing! The hunchback Amoxicillin from The Hunchback of Notre Dame! Our Fanyin Temple has its very own Bell Tower Sword Cultivator, Zheng Weiqi!”
Ning Ning looked at him in shock.
What is amoxicillin? That’s not right—his name was actually Quasimodo!
Zheng Weiqi sighed, “Not quite. The morning and evening bells have dedicated caretakers; I’m not qualified for that.”
Her gaze grew distant as she delved into her memories.
“All I did was join a group of dozens of monks in a dim, cramped room in the main hall and spend three full days and nights struck on a wooden fish while chanting scriptures. As we knocked, we recited: Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha…”
—Nobody wants to hear this!!!
What’s more, Senior Sister Zheng’s eyes were dull, and her tone increasingly resembled a robotic recording.
It was as if those Buddhist chants had been etched into her DNA—terrifying!
“Hey, look over there!”
Lin Xun, who had been silent this whole time, suddenly spoke up.
Still unaccustomed to crowded places, he took a step closer to He Zhizhou as he pointed.
“Is that Monk Yonggui? Why is he seated on a meditation cushion like the elders?”
Following his gaze, Ning Ning indeed spotted a familiar figure.
Yonggui clearly noticed them too, nodding with a benevolent smile.
“Buddhist elders have limited energy. Disciples with sufficient cultivation are sometimes permitted to host smaller lectures,” Zheng Weiqi explained patiently before frowning.
“But this one… doesn’t look very reliable.”
Ning Ning nodded in agreement.
“Senior sister, please be more confident and remove the word ‘looks like’.”
Though Yonggui’s Buddhist rap was unconventional, music was merely an external method of cultivation.
In terms of personality, he wasn’t particularly eccentric.
This was evident in the neat and orderly golden text floating beside him: Meditating on Zen.
“Life is like drifting clouds and flowing water; only by seeing through the Five Skandhas as empty can one live without regret. Let go of greed, anger, and ignorance, and one can immediately become a Buddha through Zen.”
In a calm voice, Yonggui continued, “Transcending the Five Elements and perceiving things with one’s true heart is the essence of Zen in Buddhism. If any of you have unresolved issues in life, feel free to share them with me. Perhaps I can help unravel them.”
“Really?”
Zheng Weiqi became intrigued.
“Junior Monk, I want to earn money, practice swordsmanship, and exorcise demons down the mountain. But I have so little time and can’t manage it all. What should I do?”
Yonggui smiled.
“That’s not a problem.”
He lowered his head and rummaged through his storage bag.
After a while, he pulled out several small pebbles and a wooden cup.
As Ning Ning had expected, the monk placed the stones into the cup and looked up at Zheng Weiqi.
“Is the cup full now?”
This trick is so old.
Judging by how smoothly he retrieved the items, it was clear that this so-called “Zen teaching” was a mass-produced philosophical story he could apply to almost any question.
Zheng Weiqi looked at him as if he were a child, but to spare his dignity, she played along.
“It’s full.”
“It’s actually not.”
Though Yonggui was young, he beamed with pride when she obediently fell into his trap.
He suppressed a triumphant grin, took out a handful of fine sand from his storage bag, and filled the gaps between the stones.
“Now, it’s full.”
His actions and voice were seamless, and Zheng Weiqi feigned sudden enlightenment, clapping her hands in realization.
But then, a serious voice chimed in:
“No, that’s still not right! It’s not full yet!”
It was He Zhizhou.
“The main component of sand is silicon dioxide, and… hydrochloric acid can dissolve silicon dioxide!”
His eyes lit up with excitement as he continued, “As for the stones in the cup, they’re likely limestone, which is primarily composed of calcium carbonate. Adding a bit of dilute hydrochloric acid will trigger a reaction, creating even more space in the cup. As long as the chemical reaction continues, the cup can never truly be full. Isn’t that amazing?”
Yonggui stared at him, his expression blank, as if looking at a lunatic.
He replied cautiously, “This benefactor… Are you chanting some kind of ancient spell?”
Amused by the scene, Zheng Weiqi felt a newfound sense of righteousness and promptly signed up for Yonggui’s lecture, touched by the monk’s sincerity.
Ning Ning, however, had little interest in small lectures.
Compared to spending days cooped up in the main hall, she preferred to explore the temple freely.
Coincidentally, Pei Ji was also reluctant to participate, so the two wandered aimlessly around the Dharma Platform.
Meanwhile, He Zhizhou and Lin Xun, eager to join the fun, visited every lecture before finally settling on one.
When Ning Ning later asked what they chose, He Zhizhou grinned mischievously and pointed to an elderly monk nearby.
Ning Ning glanced over, catching sight of the golden text beside the monk.
With just one look, she froze in shock.
Good heavens.
The text read: [Uniform Temptation].
—
Though Fanyin Temple was called a temple, its vast grounds extended far beyond what the term suggested, encompassing mountains and valleys in every direction.
Exploring the entire place in a single day was impossible.
Mindful of Pei Ji’s injuries, Ning Ning avoided the colder highlands and instead stayed near the main temple.
By the time they returned, the sky had turned golden with dusk.
Unexpectedly, they spotted He Zhizhou and Lin Xun in a nearby courtyard.
Curious about their small lecture, Ning Ning dragged Pei Ji over to take a look—and froze at the scene before her.
The courtyard was cold, yet all the participants, mostly Buddhist cultivators, had removed their outer garments.
Holding scriptures in their hands, they recited in loud, resonant voices.
Compared to the focused and meditative monks, He Zhizhou and Lin Xun resembled two scrawny, shivering chicks.
Huddled together in a frigid corner, they trembled uncontrollably while pitifully flipping through their scriptures and chanting: Gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha…
In the center of the courtyard sat an elderly monk and Master Mingkong, both smiling blissfully.
Before them was a warm, steaming stove.
“Master, this spiritual-fueled stove is truly comforting. It warms both body and heart,” Mingkong remarked as he savored a pastry, exuding an aura of profound compassion.
“The pastries melt in your mouth, and the stove’s warmth is delightful. Winter is wonderful.”
The elderly monk smiled too, lifting his gaze toward the corner.
“Anyone care to join us? The pastries are sweet and soft, and the stove’s warmth is unmatched. Isn’t that wonderful?”
Ning Ning was stunned.
So this is what they mean by “killing with kindness.”
It turned out that “uniform” in [Uniform Temptation] wasn’t a noun—it was a verb through and through!
She glanced back at He Zhizhou and Lin Xun.
