Dark Blue Frost - Chapter 16
Chapter 16: Owe Nothing
When viewing his past lives on the Three Lives Stone, Qingxuan had felt as though he were merely observing a story that belonged to someone else. Even if there were moments that made him sigh, he did not feel any deep, tangible personal connection. Yet now, as he recalled the vivid details of the betrayals in his own life, a lingering disappointment and desolation welled up within him that he could not conceal. A bitter, wordless sense of helplessness swept through his entire being.
Instead of the expected accusations or curses, Qingxuan simply watched Fu Yunchuan in absolute silence, his expression as indifferent as if he were looking at a complete stranger. It was Fu Yunchuan, on the other hand, who was rattled by that calm gaze, his face turning deathly pale as his whole body trembled uncontrollably.
“I truly had no options left, I was driven to a dead end!”
At this moment, Fu Yunchuan could not possibly guess what Qingxuan had been through, nor could he tell whether the figure standing before him was a living human or a vengeful ghost come to claim his life. He could only shrink into the corner of the straw pile, muttering endlessly to himself in deep torment, “If I hadn’t fled back then, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I really didn’t expect…”
He wanted to say that he never expected the owner of the male brothel to be so ruthless as to torture Qingxuan to death just to vent his rage. He had assumed the owner would, at most, teach Qingxuan a lesson and force him to take clients. Yet, he found himself unable to voice such excuses. Those consequences he claimed not to have expected were things he, having spent years in the brothel, should have easily foreseen.
When he was nineteen, his father fell gravely ill, requiring rare and expensive medicinal herbs to recover. Lacking the money for treatment, his father considered selling fifteen-year-old Qiu’niang to a brothel. It was Fu Yunchuan who stopped him and went out to seek work. Left with no choice, he voluntarily sold himself into the male brothel just to secure the money needed for his father’s medical bills.
In the brothel, amid the endless stream of guests, he was well-known, and his clients, male and female alike, were high officials and nobles. Yet to them, he was never anything more than a plaything. Indeed, had there been any alternative, he would never have used Qingxuan as bait to orchestrate his own escape. It had all been triggered by the letter Qiu’niang sent through a messenger.
He was not reluctant to admit that he harbored feelings for his own younger sister that transcended proper morality. Their mother had died early, and their father was a incompetent man who lay sick in bed all day, practically useless. Only the two siblings had relied on each other to survive. He did not know when this unbreakable sibling bond had begun to warp. He only knew that while he was still trying to hide it, too ashamed to confess, Qiu’niang had openly and candidly expressed her romantic feelings toward him.
The letter stated that the master of the Zhao household had repeatedly demanded to marry her, promising a thousand pieces of gold as a bride price, and even their father seemed inclined to agree. However, the letter did not mention Qiu’niang’s own desires. He understood that her silence was because she wanted to know what he planned to do.
He wanted to return and flee far away with Qiu’niang, but bound as a slave to the brothel, how could he afford such an extravagant hope? After much hesitation and deliberation, unable to stomach the thought of the woman he loved marrying another, he meticulously planned a desperate gamble. He did not hesitate to use his personal servant as a scapegoat. After a grueling journey back to his hometown, he was met with a bolt from the blue.
The master of the Zhao household had forced himself upon her, ruining the woman he loved.
At that moment, he only hated himself for hesitating. If he had returned sooner and taken Qiu’niang away without looking back, how could she have suffered such an insult and tragedy?
Listening to Fu Yunchuan’s incoherent muttering, Qingxuan remained silent. He simply watched Fu Yunchuan’s face, which wore an expression that was impossible to tell whether it was filled with regret or a complete lack of remorse.
“I know my brother wronged you back then. Still, over all these years, he has never known peace. He wakes up every night from nightmares, living in constant fear and paranoid thoughts, terrified that your vengeful ghost would come for his life.”
Fu Qiu’niang tightly embraced Fu Yunchuan, seemingly not fearing the contagious disease he carried at all. Looking at her beloved in such a dazed state, a profound pain filled her heart, and she could no longer hold back the words she had kept inside. Though she was speaking to Qingxuan, she lacked the courage to look him in the eye, her voice carrying a pleading tone meant to smooth things over, “Now he has ended up like this, while you have been blessed by heaven and are safe and sound. Why don’t we just—”
Before she could finish, Qingxuan suddenly turned around, deliberately keeping his head lowered so no one could see his expression.
Departing from his usual demeanor, he reached out to pull Qianse’s sleeve.
Even his usually clear voice was suppressed into a faint raspy tone, “Master, let us leave.”
Just as his hand was about to touch Qianse, he suddenly realized that his action seemed like he was forcing his master to leave with him. Feeling it was inappropriate, he withdrew his hand, gloomily picked up the rolls of fabric scattered on the ground, and took the lead out of the dilapidated straw hut.
He was not trying to pretend to be generous. He simply felt an unbearable tightness in his chest. Those suppressed emotions roared repeatedly within him, yet he had no idea how to handle them. If he truly wanted to hold a grudge, what would be the proper way to settle it? Could cursing Fu Yunchuan to high heaven and beating him severely truly make up for the disappointment and despair of being betrayed by someone he trusted? Indeed, those events had passed. Yet those terrible memories had returned clearly to his mind, and that indescribable harm had genuinely occurred and left an indelible scar.
He felt somewhat discouraged, feeling as though he were just a fool born to be used by others. It was like that ten lives ago, and it was still like that in this life. Ten lifetimes of mortal trials had brought not a single bit of growth.
“Designing to harm others back then, and now afflicted with a foul disease, suffering a living death, is already retribution.”
Qianse looked down upon the Fu siblings embracing each other, slowly shaking her head.
She laid bare the secret no one else knew in a nonchalant tone, “And the two of you, disregarding proper morals to indulge in illicit pleasure, ultimately fathering a child with intellectual disabilities, are merely reaping your own bitter fruit.”
With that, she turned as if intending to leave as well.
“How could you possibly know—” Fu Qiu’niang was instantly struck with shock.
She was certain that no third person besides herself and Fu Yunchuan knew the truth. Where could this red-robed woman have possibly learned of it?
It was true. On the day Fu Qiu’niang was violated by Zhao Fugui, she felt that life was worse than death and was planning to end her life at home. Unexpectedly, Fu Yunchuan had chosen that exact moment to sneak back home. Weeping with a mixture of shame and grief, she recounted the entire ordeal to him. Fu Yunchuan grew even more consumed by guilt, holding her tightly and blaming himself, only wishing he had returned earlier to take her away.
That very night, things that should not have happened took place.
The siblings had intended to take their gravely ill father and flee to a distant land. Unexpectedly, they crossed paths with the men sent by the male brothel to track down Fu Yunchuan.
Fu Yunchuan had no choice but to hide, delaying their plans to leave. Later, after the pursuers from the brothel returned empty-handed, he noticed suspicious small bumps appearing on his body. When he went to a clinic for a diagnosis, the physician was shocked. Treating those bumps as if they were something shameful, the physician immediately chased him away with a feather duster.
Only then did he realize that he had contracted a fatal, filthy disease.
With his father critically ill and himself now afflicted with this horrific ailment, misfortune struck again when Fu Qiu’niang found herself pregnant at this crucial juncture. Fortunately, Zhao Fugui took the initiative to come forward, foolishly assuming the role of a father. He took Fu Qiu’niang into the Zhao manor and paid a substantial bride price. Only then was the secret of their incestuous affair covered up, and only then did Fu Yunchuan obtain the funds to slowly treat his illness.
Yet, who could have anticipated that the child born to him and Fu Qiu’niang would be born with intellectual disabilities?
If there were such a thing as karma, perhaps all of this truly was retribution.
Qianse did not answer Fu Qiu’niang’s question. With her back turned to them, she paused briefly, lowering her gaze and leaving behind a meaningful remark, her voice returning to its previous icy tone, “The two of you had better take care of yourselves.”
Stepping out of the straw hut, her gaze swept over to see Qingxuan standing with his back turned in silent distress. Qianse’s expression remained calm, her low voice revealing no trace of emotion, as if even the subtle feelings were entirely frozen, “Qingxuan, let us go.”
Even so, she did not walk ahead as she usually did.
Instead, she stood in place, a faint light flickering deep within her pool-like eyes.
“Master,” Qingxuan called out softly. He raised his head to look at her, feeling the deep autumn twilight settle in silence around them.
As his breath trembled, for some reason, Qianse’s clear face gradually grew blurry in his eyes.
Only after a long moment did he manage to suppress the churning emotions inside him, “Why did you seal this memory of mine?”
From childhood to adulthood, there were too many unbearable memories. Thus, he had always unconsciously forgotten or diluted painful experiences. As for not remembering how he met his master back then, there had seemed no need to rack his brain to figure it out.
He simply had not expected the truth to be like this.
“Even while unconscious at the time, you gritted your teeth with a fierce and vengeful expression, consumed by heavy resentment and hostility. That was of no benefit to your recovery.”
Qianse responded calmly.
She did not tell him that it was precisely because he had foolishly trusted others ten lives ago, forging a karmic obstacle upon himself, that he had to atone and refine himself lifetime after lifetime. She merely guided him by focusing on the essential lesson, “Now that you possess the ability to distinguish right from wrong, looking back at all of this will surely bring you enlightenment.”
Enlightenment?
To be honest, perhaps because his comprehension was too low, he did not gain any enlightenment from that so-called karmic obstacle. Instead, he firmly remembered every action his master had taken for him. In fact, thinking carefully about it, should he actually feel grateful to Fu Yunchuan? Had it not been for Fu Yunchuan’s betrayal that left him on the brink of death, how could he have ever had the chance to meet his master and experience such a series of blessings?
“I truly did not expect that Master would save me back then without holding my past against me.”
Answering off-topic in a low, gentle voice, he lowered his head and hid his face behind the rolls of fabric, unable to describe the complex feelings in his heart.
Hearing him say this, Qianse remained silent for a long while. A dark glint flashed across her black eyes, making her gaze grow even deeper.
Then, she let out a gentle smile and uttered a sentence that seemed to come out of nowhere, yet carried countless unspoken implications, “I have never liked owing anyone anything, nor do I like others owing me anything.”
With that, she turned and walked away.
Qingxuan was stunned, failing to grasp the meaning behind her words for a moment.
Only after a short pause did he react, instinctively hugging the fabric and chasing after her.
…
The night was desolate. Though Zhao Fugui had repeatedly claimed that the monster preying on human flesh and blood had been subdued, the Zhao family dyehouse still emptied out before dark. Not a single worker was willing to stay overnight.
At the midnight hour, a silent black figure acting with extreme caution entered the dyehouse. Heading straight for the dye vats, he exerted great effort to move one aside and began rapidly digging into the dirt beneath it. After a short while, he dug something up, stuffed it into his sleeve, restored the dirt to its original state, pushed the vat back, and moved on to displace a second vat to continue digging.
Just as he was digging out the final item, a lazy voice came from the side, clearly laced with a hint of sarcasm, “Knowing how to use magical artifacts to suppress human remains and souls, you are certainly no simple character.”
Struck with terror, he hastily stood upright!
