If You Don’t Go To Hell, Who Will? - Chapter 51
Zhong Yuan excitedly said to me, “I can’t wait any longer.”
I was about to reply when suddenly the room became brightly lit. The sudden influx of light made my eyes hurt. I squinted and saw Zhong Yuan getting up from me, half-kneeling on the sofa, looking towards the door with a surprised and displeased expression on his face.
I got up from the sofa and followed his gaze. I saw two people standing at the door: a young boy whom I recognized as the student I was tutoring, Shi Jing, and a girl who appeared to be around my age, holding his hand. The girl had short, dark hair and was dressed in casual shorts and a T-shirt. Her long, slender legs were quite enviable. She was a bit far away, so I couldn’t make out her facial features, but her eyes seemed to hide a sense of boldness and sharpness.
I felt a bit embarrassed and lowered my head, my face quickly turning red.
Zhong Yuan sat back down beside me, patted my shoulder lightly as a sign of comfort, and then looked at the door, sounding a bit impatient as he asked, “Why are you guys here?”
The short-haired girl, Shi Yunheng, dragged Shi Jing inside enthusiastically, sat on the sofa next to me, and examined me from top to bottom with a smirk, without saying a word.
After a while, the girl finally took her gaze away from me and smiled at Zhong Yuan, saying, “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
Zhong Yuan lounged on the sofa lazily, then turned to me and said with a smile, “This is my wife, Mu Er. Mu Er, she’s even more of a ‘pure man’ than I am.”
Me: “…”
“Come on!” the short-haired girl retorted, picking up a pillow and tossing it at Zhong Yuan, who effortlessly caught it. Then she turned to me, smiled gently, and said, “I’m Shi Yunheng, Shi Jing’s older sister.”
At this point, Shi Jing looked at me, then at Zhong Yuan, and finally asked, “Teacher Mu, what are you guys doing?”
I stammered, not sure how to answer that question.
But Zhong Yuan responded calmly, “Can’t you see? We’re watching a movie.” He pointed to the TV screen. The movie had already finished, and the closing credits were rolling.
I felt unjustly accused. I was innocent, yet I felt guilty.
Shi Jing, upon hearing Zhong Yuan’s response, picked up the DVD case and examined it. Shi Yunheng suddenly snatched the case from him, took a quick look, and then smiled at both of us. “I’ve seen this movie. Not suitable for kids.”
I hung my head low, feeling embarrassed.
Zhong Yuan, however, wasn’t bothered. He asked Shi Yunheng, “Why did you come back?”
Upon hearing this question, Shi Yunheng stood up excitedly, crossed her arms in front of her chest, and half-complained, half-vented, “Why did I come back? Of course, I had to come back. Do you think I’d starve over there? Have you seen the stuff the British eat? If you had, you’d have run back faster than me. I’m a young and beautiful classical artist from the East.
Do you know what they fed me on the first day? steaks, burgers, and sandwiches. On the second day? steaks, burgers, and sandwiches. On the third day? Steak, burgers, and sandwiches! I told Lawrence that I didn’t want to eat the same thing anymore, and you know what his wife did? She personally cooked some dumpling filling with potatoes, beef, and cabbage, poured raw eggs over it, and served it to me. And she claimed that she heard Chinese people love this dish! I ended up crying all night holding that bowl of dumpling filling!”
As Shi Yunheng passionately recounted her experience, she wiped away tears. I couldn’t help but sympathize with her. After all, not everyone has the courage to face a bowl of dumpling filling.
But Zhong Yuan remained unfazed and said, “Isn’t there a Chinese restaurant there? Are you that clueless?”
“Don’t even mention Chinese restaurants to me,” Shi Yunheng snapped, seemingly more indignant. “In England, it’s hard to even find an authentic scallion pancake! You know what’s on the menu at Chinese restaurants there? Sweet and sour pork! Finally, I found a place where I could have spicy fish hotpot, but it turned out to be sweet!”
She suddenly walked up to Zhong Yuan, grabbed his collar, and shook it vigorously while continuing to vent, “Can you imagine the feeling of salivating for a whole afternoon and then eating sweet fish hotpot?”
Zhong Yuan calmly opened her fingers, adjusted his clothes, and asked, “So, the last question is, why did you come to my house?”
Shi Yunheng confidently replied, “Uncle Zhong gave me the keys to this house. He said I could come here anytime.”
Zhong Yuan’s expression didn’t look too pleased. “He must have given you other keys as well. Why did you pick this place?”
Shi Yunheng sat back on the sofa and ruffled Shi Jing’s hair absentmindedly, and Shi Jing sniffed reluctantly. Shi Yunheng crossed her legs, smirked, and said, “Because I won’t be discovered here, hehehe…”
Zhong Yuan frowned. “You sneaked back?”
“Well, uh, I just haven’t told my parents yet, so it doesn’t count as sneaking.”
Zhong Yuan remarked, “Fine, but why did you bring Shi Jing along?”
Shi Yunheng pinched Shi Jing’s cheek and declared with a righteous tone, “Little Jing is forced to attend those messy cram schools every day. I’m here to rescue my dear little brother from the clutches of danger, right, Little Jing?”
Shi Jing nodded with a bewildered expression.
In summary, not only did Shi Yunheng secretly return herself, but she also secretly brought Shi Jing along. I couldn’t help but find this situation a bit awkward.
Zhong Yuan rubbed his forehead wearily and said, “So, can you guys leave now?”
Shi Yunheng widened her eyes, looking very innocent. “Leave? Where should we go?”
Zhong Yuan impatiently closed his eyes for a moment and said, “From where you came, back to your place. Take Little Jing home and don’t make Uncle and Aunt worry.”
“Ah, ah, ah, ah,…” Shi Yunheng suddenly hugged Shi Jing tightly, her voice trembling as she said, “Little Jing, what should we do? Zhong Yuan, you heartless brother, do you really want to see us homeless and wandering the streets? Even though we’ve interrupted your nice evening, we can pretend we didn’t see anything, right? Come on, dear little brother, let Sister take you to your room.” Saying this, she pulled Shi Jing towards the bedroom.
“Come back,” Zhong Yuan pointed to the door to the living room, “The door is over there.”
Seeing this, Shi Yunheng’s expression changed, and she put her hands on her hips, glaring at Zhong Yuan. “Zhong Yuan, are you really determined to force me to resolve this with my fists today?”
Saying that, Shi Yunheng let go of Shi Jing, stepped on the coffee table, and pounced towards Zhong Yuan with a fierce look in her eyes, as if she were about to land on him.
Zhong Yuan quickly flipped over and dodged her. Shi Yunheng missed her target and fell empty-handed. She got up from the sofa and immediately engaged in a physical scuffle with Zhong Yuan, talking as they fought.
“Zhong Yuan, are you really going to stand by and do nothing?”
“You’re not dying, so you don’t need my help.”
“No conscience! How did I treat you back then? Shouldn’t you thank me for this opportunity?”
“Thank you for giving me my first bone fracture in life.”
“Hey hey hey, I just wanted to test your martial arts skills at that time. Who told you not to hold back so much?”
“Well, your kickboxing coach also couldn’t hold back.”
“Ah, ah, ah, I’m a delicate Eastern girl and a classical artist. How can you, a man, fight with me?”
“Very easily.”
“You…! I’m a woman, and men shouldn’t fight women!”
“The whole world knows you’re a ‘pure man’; there’s no need to hide it.”
“Zhong Yuan! I’m going all out against you!”
I watched the chaotic scene in the room with a bewildered expression. At this moment, Shi Jing cautiously sat down beside me, tugged at my hand, and stared at me with big, innocent eyes. He pouted and said, “Teacher Mu, are you really going to chase me away?”
I gently patted his head, and the guilt in my heart was rapidly increasing. “Um, cough… It’s probably better for you to go back home… Ah!”
I hadn’t finished my sentence when something suddenly clasped around my neck, startling me. When I took a closer look, I realized that Shi Yunheng had moved next to me. She had one hand on my shoulder and the other around my neck, and she was smiling menacingly at Zhong Yuan. “Hmph, if you dare not take us in, I’ll torment your wife!”
Zhong Yuan: “…”
