If You Don’t Go To Hell, Who Will? - Chapter 53

It was the weekend, and after Shijing finished his homework, I spent some time watching TV with him. This kid didn’t like cartoons or action shows, but he had a strange fondness for variety shows, especially matchmaking programs. I wondered if other kids had similarly unique preferences. Sigh, the thoughts of kids these days are truly hard to fathom.

While Shijing was watching TV, he asked me, “Teacher Mu, what is an engagement?”

I yawned and replied, “Oh, it’s when two people agree to get married in the future and can’t change their minds.”

Shijing, with his eager eyes, asked again, “Has Teacher Mu gotten engaged?”

“Well, um, hehe…” I scratched my head, feeling a bit embarrassed.

Before I could answer, Shijing continued, “I heard that my sister and brother Zhongyuan are going to get engaged.”

I felt like I’d been struck by lightning and took a while to regain my composure. Stammering, I asked, “W-what do you mean?”

Shijing earnestly answered, “It means they’ve agreed to get married and can’t change their minds.”

Suppressing the intense discomfort in my heart, I forced a smile and asked, “Who told you this?”

Shijing replied, “My dad talked to Zhong Yuan’s father on the phone, and I overheard it. They said Zhong Yuan’s parents are coming back to China next month for their engagement.”

My mind suddenly went blank.

In the evening, Zhong Yuan came to pick me up from Shijing’s house. I followed him like a wandering soul, unconsciously ending up at his apartment. Ever since the last time I stayed overnight at Zhongyuan’s place, I had been living there.

Silence filled the air.

When we arrived downstairs at his apartment, Zhongyuan suddenly asked me, “What are you thinking about?”

I lowered my head, feeling helpless, and replied, “Nothing.”

Zhongyuan chuckled. “Mu, if you keep ignoring me, I might become someone else’s.”

I clenched my fists, feeling a chill in the depths of my heart. Could what Shijing said be true?

Zhongyuan tousled my hair and said, “My dad is coming back.”

“Uh-huh,” I replied softly.

Zhong Yuan continued, “Do you know why he’s coming back?”

“Why?”

“He… he wants me to get engaged to Shi Yunheng.”

I remained silent.

My heart suddenly felt like it was being stung by a swarm of ants, which was painful and unbearably uncomfortable.

Zhong Yuan shook me, saying, “Mu, Mu?”

“Uh-huh,” I responded, pulling away from him.

But Zhong Yuan stubbornly held onto me and asked, “Don’t you have anything to say?”

I kept my eyes down, resisting the urge to cry, and replied in a subdued tone, “Oh, then what are you waiting for?”

Zhong Yuan’s hand hesitated for a moment before he tightened his grip. He whispered, “Mu, what’s wrong with you?”

I looked up, locking eyes with him. “Zhong Yuan, you haven’t really forgotten Shi Yunheng, have you?”

Zhong Yuan smiled and reached out to pinch my cheek. “Are you jealous?”

I turned my head away, feeling a surge of excitement. “Answer me!”

Zhong Yuan frowned. “What are you thinking? You think I like her?”

I sneered and shook my head. “Everyone in the world knows, okay? You two have been childhood friends. You can’t just forget about her. Do you think I’m a fool?”

Zhong Yuan’s expression grew cold as he said, “Childhood friends? Me and her? I think you and Zhang Xu are the real childhood friends, aren’t you?!”

As soon as I heard him say that, I became even angrier. I forcefully shook his hand off and then pulled out the bottle of perfume called “First Love” from my bag, handing it to him. Angrily, I said, “Everyone knows what’s going on here. Please take this back and give it to the person it’s meant for. I can’t accept it.”

“You…!” Zhong Yuan stared at me intensely, his eyes filled with anger, making me hesitate to meet his gaze. His breathing quickened, and his chest heaved for a while. Then he took big steps towards the trash can and angrily tossed the bottle of perfume into it. He looked back at me, almost tauntingly, and said, “I guess it’s better off in there. The intended recipient probably won’t appreciate it anyway.”

“Suit yourself!” I replied, no longer paying him any attention, and turned to run out of the residential area.

“Mu, come back!” Zhong Yuan called after me a few times as I ignored him. However, when I was about to reach the residential area’s entrance, he suddenly caught up to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me back.

I struggled to break free from his grasp, but he held on tight. In desperation, I loudly shouted, “Help! Robbery!”

The security guards in the residential area immediately rushed over to try and separate us. While they were engaged in the commotion, I managed to get to the side of the road and hail a taxi, quickly making my escape.

As I sat in the cab, I couldn’t help but feel that both of us had acted impulsively. But whenever I thought of the word “engagement,” I felt an unbearable discomfort. Thinking back to when he pressured me to marry him, it seemed like it had happened just yesterday. We had been so naive back then, not understanding much about life. Engagement was like playing house; it was even simpler than that. It was just exchanging rings and making a promise. At the time, it felt incredibly sweet. But now I realize that promises are just promises and can’t be treated as facts. As people turned and walked away from each other, who would remember what they had once said? Even if they did remember, they would pretend to forget, right?

I lowered my head and looked at the ring on my finger. It seemed to shine too brightly now. So, I took off the ring, intending to throw it out of the car window. However, after struggling for a while, I eventually withdrew my hand. I shook my head, feeling a lack of courage, and placed the ring back in my bag. I knew I would never have the chance to wear it again.

My vision grew blurry, and I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand. It seemed like it had been a long time since I had cried.

When I got out of the taxi, tears were still streaming down my face. I didn’t bother to wipe them away. Even though my vision was hazy, I could navigate the streets of B University with my eyes closed.

I hurriedly walked with my head down. Unexpectedly, I bumped into someone. I mumbled a quick apology and continued walking. However, the person seemed surprised and called out to me, “Mu’er?”

I wiped away my tears haphazardly, raised my head, and saw Su Yan looking at me with a surprised expression. But when he noticed I was crying, his face didn’t look too good.

“What’s wrong?” Su Yan took out a tissue and tried to wipe away my tears.

I snatched the tissue from his hand, said, “Thank you,” and then turned away. I didn’t want to talk to anyone right now.

“Mu’er,” Su Yan grabbed my hand again, looking both anxious and angry. “Did Zhong Yuan bully you?”

I forcefully pulled my hand away. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

But Su Yan grabbed my hand again, holding it tightly. I found it strange that people today liked to hold onto others and not let go. It seemed quite impolite.

I sniffed and said, “Su Yan, let go.”

“No,” Su Yan insisted, grabbing my other hand as well. “Tell me what happened.”

I shook my head, about to speak, but I noticed someone approaching us not far away. The figure was very familiar. My heart started pounding rapidly, but there was also a sharp ache.

As the figure got closer, it was indeed Zhong Yuan.

Zhong Yuan glanced at us expressionlessly and then shifted his gaze downward, focusing on our intertwined hands.

I wanted to explain something, but in the end, I didn’t say anything. After all, he had flirted with Shi Yunheng and never explained himself to me. Moreover, I felt that maybe it was over between us. What else needed to be said?

Finally, Zhong Yuan looked at me, smiled weakly, and turned away.